Clean Jokes
- Before and After Marriage
BEFORE: You take my breath away
AFTER: I feel like I'm suffocating
BEFORE: She says she loves the way I take control of the situation
AFTER: She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac
BEFORE: Saturday Night Fever
AFTER: Monday Night Football
BEFORE: He makes me feel like a million dollars
AFTER: If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...
BEFORE: The Sound of Music
AFTER: The Sound of Silence
BEFORE: It's like I'm in a dream
AFTER: It's like he's in a dorm
BEFORE: We agree on everything!
AFTER: Doesn't she have a mind of her own?
BEFORE: Charming and Noble
AFTER: Chernobyl
BEFORE: Ideal
AFTER: Idle
BEFORE: I love a woman with curves
AFTER: I never said you were fat
BEFORE: He's completely lost without me
AFTER: Why won't he ever ask for directions?
BEFORE: Time stood still
AFTER: This relationship is going nowhere
BEFORE: Blind
AFTER: Nearsighted
BEFORE: You look so seductive in black
AFTER: Your clothes are so depressing
BEFORE: I can hardly believe we found each other
AFTER: I can't believe I ended up with someone like you
